Answer: himpathy.
Himpathy is a term coined by Australian philosopher Kate Manne for the special kind of empathy given to men accused of abuse.
I’m sure you’ve seen this in the news. A man gets accused of abuse—like, say, Johnny Depp—and everyone rallies to his side. His career is the one in danger, his reputation at risk of being tarnished. His life is the only life that matters—not his victim’s.
I am so sorry if this happens to you. It feels like the worst kind of betrayal. You can lose friends and family over it. But remember you always belong to the community of women who’ve gone through this and survived. We understand. We know what it’s like. You’re not alone.