What is it about power, ego, wealth and charisma that seduces so many women?
Why don’t the drawbacks of dating these men—their egos, their sense of entitlement, their disregard for monogamy—put women off?
It’s time to put good, kind, decent men back on the pedestal, and Rich Gosse wants to help.
Rich is the founder of American Singles Education, the world’s largest nonprofit singles organization. He’s also the author of nine books on dating, including The Donald Trump Syndrome: Why Women Choose the Wrong Men to Love.
In this interview he explains which men are most likely to be faithful, why you shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move, and why lasting love starts with defining your non-negotiables.
What You’ll Learn
It’s better to choose a man who is the diametrical opposite of Donald Trump.”
It’s hard to think of a more polarizing figure to write a book around.
But Rich Gosse isn’t afraid of criticism.
His latest book, The Donald Trump Syndrome: Why Women Choose the Wrong Men to Love, stars none other than President Donald Trump in the leading role.
Why President Trump?
Because he’s the epitome of the alpha male, the kind of man women have been attracted to for millennia.
Donald Trump stands for 5 qualities, starting with maturity. “Generally women marry a man at least 2 years older than they [are], and it’s not unusual for women to date men 5, 10, 20 years older than they are,” Rich says.
He stands for education. “Women are attracted to men who are well educated,” Rich explains.
He stands for wealth. “Women tend to be attracted to men who are wealthier.”
He stands for height. “Women like men who are taller.”
Lastly, he stands for confidence. “And, of course, women often like men who are self-assured.”
A man who’s older, educated, wealthy, tall, and confident will stand out in a crowd. His charisma, power, and authority captivate everyone he meets. For many women, his charm will be hard to resist.
But there’s a cost to falling for the alpha male.
Alpha males are more likely to cheat. They take the starring role, leaving you in a supporting role. And they’re less likely to sacrifice or change or go the extra mile for you, because they know they have other options.
That’s why Rich tells his clients to go for men who are “the diametric opposite of Donald Trump.” This means men who are younger, poorer, a little bit less educated, shorter, and shyer.
Just because these men aren’t perceived as a catch doesn’t mean they aren’t a catch.
Shy men will adore you. They may feel so attracted to you, they can’t get up the courage to approach you. “Basically, he’s going to say, ‘Why would this goddess want to be with me?’”
That’s why there’s nothing wrong with making the first move. Shy guys need the help.
There are just millions and millions of single men in America who are shy beta males. They’re all available, but nobody wants them. Nobody goes after them. They’re all noticing … the magnetic guy, the charismatic guy, the Donald Trump guy who attracts all of the attention.”
And if you think choosing a shy beta male is settling, think again.
“If you’re willing to go for a man who’s shorter or less successful, less self-assured, less egotistical, less educated, I don’t think you’re settling,” Rich says. “Because hopefully you’re going to meet a man who’s going to love you, who’s going to be fun to be with, who’s going to be a great guy [even though] he may not fit that superficial fantasy that most women have.”
And perhaps that’s where alpha males belong, in our fantasies.
We can dream about the dominant billionaire who sweeps us off our feet, but we can come home to the nice, wonderful, caring guy we chose to spend our life with.
“Women have to ask themselves, ‘What part of my fantasy am I willing to sacrifice in order to be with a man that I can truly love and be happy with for the rest of my life?‘” Rich advises.
He recommends that his clients write down a list of all the qualities they dream of in a mate. Then he asks them to cross off all the qualities that aren’t essential to their happiness.
In the end, they should have a list of what they absolutely MUST have in a partner—and chances are, it won’t include height, money, or confidence.
Jump to Topics of Interest
03:35 Why women are attracted to men like Donald Trump
05:23 Why it’s wiser to choose men who are the exact opposite of Donald Trump
08:03 Why beta males are such a catch
09:33 The importance of looking past superficial qualities
10:35 Does this mean women should settle?
13:36 Supporting player to a star husband or a supportive husband to help you shine?
14:31 Can the alpha male change?
15:30 Fantasize about the alpha male, settle down with the beta male
16:43 Get clear on your non-negotiables
18:29 Fairness for Singles
About Rich Gosse
Rich is the author of nine books on dating, including You CAN Hurry Love, Singles Guide to the Bay Area, and the Oprah-approved A Good Man Is EASY to Find. He is executive director of the International Association of Dating Websites, and his controversial views on dating have been featured by hundreds of major TV, radio and print media. Find out more about Rich.